I love Memphis, as a concept. It's free and inviting and homely and embracing.
And the people. Though they may be smug and have bought into the concept of 'starving artist,' they have their moments when they let their guards down and that is when you have found gold. I visited a friend, L, and I couldn't be more joyous during our time together. We just hung out and it was very comfortable. Though, I must say, the ending was quite uncomfortable since we both knew our time together was at an end. And I had to say goodbye to her brother, C, which was quite sad since he and I were each others' comfort.
If I said I didn't cry in my car ride home, it'd be a lie.
Z's dog, Scout, died two weeks ago. Even after seeing her after that happened, I found out yesterday. I wasn't sad, I was more or less mad and then depressed. I was mad that I didn't know about Scout dying until yesterday. This Z, after all, was the one who had called me immediately after she and P broke up. And her cat died. And when she got good news. But now, I'm feeling like a used tissue. Good for a bit then discarded. She and M are leaving to teach in China in March. I feel that she put forth a giant wall in between us so that when she leaves, we won't be as emotional.
I just feel burnt out, emotionally, with everyone. I'm tired of entertaining- of me going up to people to talk. I want to be centered upon, I want people to come up to me and gab. I'd love to get random visits. Random adventures. But, at the end of the day, I get tired of driving everywhere, or drained from trying to get people to have a positive disposition towards me.
Monster Magnet: Atomic Clock
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0ERMy2wPKQ&feature=related
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