So, my publisher for my pen name contacted me the other week and said get an essay ready about Russia and the gas pipeline issue from two years ago. I did that. Coming in at 9,997 words out of the maximum 10,000 word cap, I thought I was set. Even with my advance, I had plans.

Luckily the years of my mother's sage thrifty advice finally settled in and I did not spend it.

Yesterday, I was in the hospital with an individual of mine who is suffering from liver cirrhosis. I should also note that, after many years of kicking back a hearty cocktail of Excedrin and Tylenol with a few anti-seizure meds, your liver will eventually cave in. The last few years while your liver shuts down since you've essentially charred it, is very unpleasant. You're bloated and retain a lot of fluid that you can't pee out. It's a slow process that'll last until your kidneys say "fuck you."

Well, while getting him admitted, I had totally biffed and forgot to email myself my essay. And then promptly forgot to email it to the Journal Editor. That biff had cost me a thousand dollars and then some more once it got published. Like leads. And further opportunities.

And hope.

So today was just a day of me sniffling, pissed off at myself and, unfortunately, taking it out on my co-workers for the first four hours of my day.

BUT

That all changed when one of my guys, one who's deemed my favorite, came up to me and just gave me a hug. He didn't say anything. He didn't want to say anything. But he knew I was having a bad day. He also wanted to show me that he shaved (thus making him look thirty years younger) and that he cared for me.
As great as having a thousand dollar's worth of items would be, that bond I've developed with one of my guys, if not all, meant that much more to me. Hell, my (and their) primary care physician, upon seeing him with the dude who's hospitalized, told me that I'm "one of the best case managers he's had the honor of working with that advocates and understands..."

At first, I disregarded it but it hit me today that, strangely enough, I am good at what I do. I am good at being empathetic for others. And hell of a good historian. Unfortunately for any semblance of a social life, but my guys will always be my number one.

Lucero : 1372 Overton Park: What Are You Willing To Lose